Bentons Birth Story

Benton was my very last chance at a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and gosh darn it, it was going to finally happen for me. I was finally going to have my "dream" birth. You know, when my husband and I spend countless hours in the hospital waiting for my body to completely push the baby out. When my husband keeps saying "you're doing great, just a little longer" and the doctor says "just a couple more pushes", and then the next thing you know, baby is here and crying, and you are just so relieved to have that baby there, and you now are holding that precious baby and soaking in every minute with them. I don't know that child birth is actually very dreamy, but we all envision it happening a certain way. Unfortunately I did not get my "dream" birth, or the birth I envisioned.

I went in for my weekly appointment on Bentons due date. The doctor checked me, and I wasn't even fully to 1 yet. The doctor was able to stretch me just enough to get me to that one, and strip my membranes. I hoped this would get things going. That evening I lost my mucus plug, something that had never actually happened before, soon after came the contractions. This was my FIRST time, in all three pregnancies to actually feel contractions. With Addison I had very minor contractions, they might as well had been gas bubbles because they were nothing like these contractions. The contractions didn't last long enough, and were not yet painful enough to go in to the hospital. So we headed to bed. The next morning, I woke up took a hot shower, and then the contractions started coming, and they were painful. A few different times I had to stop and stabilize myself on something so that I didn't double over from the pain. We decided these were bad enough to go in.  Keep in mind, up to this point, I had never felt contractions at this magnitude before. We dropped the kids off at my mother in laws, and headed over. We decided to walk around the hospital a few times to make sure the contractions were going to continue. I think we walked around something like 17 times, and I was SO sick of walking in circles at this point. I finally convinced Aaron we should head in to triage. In triage the nurses checked me, and I was still at 1. A ONE! The contractions were so painful, at one point I had to stop talking to my mom on the phone and try not to cry I was in so much pain. The contractions, from what I understand should have had me at least at a 6. Not only was I STILL at a 1, but my cervix was still hard. Because of this they informed me that they would not be able to break my water. At this point the nurses started to tell me that a c-section was probably in my future. I politely kept telling them that I really wanted a VBAC, and that I would like to see if that can still happen. I could tell they thought I was crazy, but this was my very last chance, and there was no way I was going to just accept a c-section so easily. A little later a nurse came in letting me know she was concerned with how little Benton was moving, with her she had brought a thing that either made a vibrating noise, or vibrated my tummy to try and get Benton to wiggle a little I can't remember. But the results where not what she wanted. They got the doctor on call, and the doctor informed me that because Bentons heart rate was dipping with each contraction, and he had very little movement it was risky to keep him in there. It was at this moment I noticed Bentons heart rate dip dramatically. That was enough for me, I told her to just get him out of me. There were so many tears shed on my end. I wanted that VBAC so bad, but I wanted my baby healthy and alive more than anything. Between the concern for my baby, and the fact that I would never have a vaginal birth I was kind of a mess. Soon after I was rushed to the operating room.

In what seemed like forever (only because it took them forever to get inside of me because of past scar tissue), Benton was finally born. I don't remember much from the moment he was out. I don't remember if we heard a faint little cry, or a loud one. I don't remember if I got to hold him yet, or if the nurses just held him and showed me him. He did have some jaundice so they had to take him to the nursery for him to stay till I was placed in a room. On my way to the room I would recover in they wheeled him in, and I finally got to hold him for the first time. The next couple days were spent trying to get jaundice levels down. Sunday came, and I was able to be discharged but Benton still needed one more night on the bilirubin lights. Aaron and I decided to go to be with our kids at home. The following day we picked up Benton and took him home to be a family of 5!

Statistically, women who have c-sections are a lot less likely to have big families. I've had a couple different people already ask me if I'm done since this was my 3rd. Recovering from a major surgery like a c-section takes longer. The scar tissue from pregnancy can cause a variety of problems and its risky to continue to have more children. Let us not forget the "pooch". From what I understand, it doesn't go away as easily. I realize that its different for everyone, but those who have had vaginal and c-sections say they lost baby weight easier after vaginally giving birth then having a c-section.

Its a hard pill to swallow, knowing that I will only ever have c-sections. Mostly because I'll never get to experience all the work that comes with pushing a baby out of me the "natural" way. Its hard to  explain these feelings, because unless you've ONLY had a c-section I don't know if anything I say could help anyone understand how it feels.

Despite the fact that I'm slightly bitter about never having had the chance to birth a baby naturally I'm incredibly grateful for them . If it wasn't for these c-sections. Addison and I may not be here today. Aaron would have missed the birth of Tynan, and Benton may have not been here either. In the end, I'm grateful for the health of myself and my babies. We love having baby Benton in our family.


Addisons birth story can be read here. Tynans birth story can be read here.