Bentons Birth Story

Benton was my very last chance at a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and gosh darn it, it was going to finally happen for me. I was finally going to have my "dream" birth. You know, when my husband and I spend countless hours in the hospital waiting for my body to completely push the baby out. When my husband keeps saying "you're doing great, just a little longer" and the doctor says "just a couple more pushes", and then the next thing you know, baby is here and crying, and you are just so relieved to have that baby there, and you now are holding that precious baby and soaking in every minute with them. I don't know that child birth is actually very dreamy, but we all envision it happening a certain way. Unfortunately I did not get my "dream" birth, or the birth I envisioned.

I went in for my weekly appointment on Bentons due date. The doctor checked me, and I wasn't even fully to 1 yet. The doctor was able to stretch me just enough to get me to that one, and strip my membranes. I hoped this would get things going. That evening I lost my mucus plug, something that had never actually happened before, soon after came the contractions. This was my FIRST time, in all three pregnancies to actually feel contractions. With Addison I had very minor contractions, they might as well had been gas bubbles because they were nothing like these contractions. The contractions didn't last long enough, and were not yet painful enough to go in to the hospital. So we headed to bed. The next morning, I woke up took a hot shower, and then the contractions started coming, and they were painful. A few different times I had to stop and stabilize myself on something so that I didn't double over from the pain. We decided these were bad enough to go in.  Keep in mind, up to this point, I had never felt contractions at this magnitude before. We dropped the kids off at my mother in laws, and headed over. We decided to walk around the hospital a few times to make sure the contractions were going to continue. I think we walked around something like 17 times, and I was SO sick of walking in circles at this point. I finally convinced Aaron we should head in to triage. In triage the nurses checked me, and I was still at 1. A ONE! The contractions were so painful, at one point I had to stop talking to my mom on the phone and try not to cry I was in so much pain. The contractions, from what I understand should have had me at least at a 6. Not only was I STILL at a 1, but my cervix was still hard. Because of this they informed me that they would not be able to break my water. At this point the nurses started to tell me that a c-section was probably in my future. I politely kept telling them that I really wanted a VBAC, and that I would like to see if that can still happen. I could tell they thought I was crazy, but this was my very last chance, and there was no way I was going to just accept a c-section so easily. A little later a nurse came in letting me know she was concerned with how little Benton was moving, with her she had brought a thing that either made a vibrating noise, or vibrated my tummy to try and get Benton to wiggle a little I can't remember. But the results where not what she wanted. They got the doctor on call, and the doctor informed me that because Bentons heart rate was dipping with each contraction, and he had very little movement it was risky to keep him in there. It was at this moment I noticed Bentons heart rate dip dramatically. That was enough for me, I told her to just get him out of me. There were so many tears shed on my end. I wanted that VBAC so bad, but I wanted my baby healthy and alive more than anything. Between the concern for my baby, and the fact that I would never have a vaginal birth I was kind of a mess. Soon after I was rushed to the operating room.

In what seemed like forever (only because it took them forever to get inside of me because of past scar tissue), Benton was finally born. I don't remember much from the moment he was out. I don't remember if we heard a faint little cry, or a loud one. I don't remember if I got to hold him yet, or if the nurses just held him and showed me him. He did have some jaundice so they had to take him to the nursery for him to stay till I was placed in a room. On my way to the room I would recover in they wheeled him in, and I finally got to hold him for the first time. The next couple days were spent trying to get jaundice levels down. Sunday came, and I was able to be discharged but Benton still needed one more night on the bilirubin lights. Aaron and I decided to go to be with our kids at home. The following day we picked up Benton and took him home to be a family of 5!

Statistically, women who have c-sections are a lot less likely to have big families. I've had a couple different people already ask me if I'm done since this was my 3rd. Recovering from a major surgery like a c-section takes longer. The scar tissue from pregnancy can cause a variety of problems and its risky to continue to have more children. Let us not forget the "pooch". From what I understand, it doesn't go away as easily. I realize that its different for everyone, but those who have had vaginal and c-sections say they lost baby weight easier after vaginally giving birth then having a c-section.

Its a hard pill to swallow, knowing that I will only ever have c-sections. Mostly because I'll never get to experience all the work that comes with pushing a baby out of me the "natural" way. Its hard to  explain these feelings, because unless you've ONLY had a c-section I don't know if anything I say could help anyone understand how it feels.

Despite the fact that I'm slightly bitter about never having had the chance to birth a baby naturally I'm incredibly grateful for them . If it wasn't for these c-sections. Addison and I may not be here today. Aaron would have missed the birth of Tynan, and Benton may have not been here either. In the end, I'm grateful for the health of myself and my babies. We love having baby Benton in our family.


Addisons birth story can be read here. Tynans birth story can be read here.

Island differences

Since moving to the island, I have compiled a list of various things that were different here than what I saw in Arizona. People who have lived in different states in the US may not find a few of these different though.

*Movie theaters have beer. I've never seen a beer at the movie theaters in the states. There is actually beer here everywhere. You can go get it out of the fridge like a soda.

*You can drive drunk here. Its only a small fine... if you get caught. No DIU charges.

*Every year, you get a new color license plate. When we bought our car it was orange (2015), then it was a blue green (2016), and this year it's white (2017). This is how they do their road taxes instead of getting a new sticker with the year.

*Speed limits are not enforced on the island. All streets are one lane, and if you are stopped behind the bus you can cross over into the other lane going the opposite direction and pass the stopped car/bus. People just stop in the middle of the road and visit with people. Whether this is allowed or not, I do not know but people do it.

*You hail a bus and have to call and "order" a taxi. This actually is not too different. At least from Arizona in the Phoenix area. Usually if you need a taxi in Arizona you call them up and let them know you need one. You do that here too. However, the buses is different. In the metropolitan area, you have to stop at a bus stop for the bus to pick you up. Here you can wait along the side of the road anywhere. When you see the bus you can put up your hand and stop them. Bus fair is about $2.50 per area.

* There are a few grocery stores here, were you are required to tip the bagger boys. They are not hired on with the company, they work for tips only.

*You do not have to get out of your car to get gas, someone else fills it up for you. Aaron served his mission in New Jersey and said this is the norm there, but in Arizona you always get your own gas. Its really nice to just sit and not have to get out of the car. I think this is something Arizona should adapt.

*No carpet. This, I'm sure, is a given. Carpet is warm, and easily retains dirt and sand. The humidity makes things very musty too. They do have rugs here though. Which is perfect, because then you can switch them out, for a fraction of the cost of regular carpet.

*In Arizona, you can ask for just a cup of water, no charge, 10 cents at most. Here if you want a water, you have to buy a water bottle.

*Water at restaurants is more than soda. If you want a water, the cheapest way to get a water here is to tell them you want tap water. If you say "I'll take a water, they will bring a water in a glass bottle out and fill up your cups. This will cost more than a soda. At one restaurant we went to, it cost $12 dollars per bottle of water that was brought out to our table. We were surprised when we got our check.

*You will not find many restaurants that have fountain drinks. If you want a fountain drink, you have to go to a fast food restaurant or the movie theater.

*Honking is polite. At least, that is what I have been told. I am not sure if I believe it just yet.

*When school is out, you will find young boys waiting outside the store to help you with groceries and take your cart back to the store. It is always for a tip. One time, we were leaving the store, and a young man just came and held on to our cart all the way to the car. Aaron and I were kind of surprised and not quite sure what to do. We ended up just telling him we did not need any help.

*There is no sales tax. You can walk in to a store, and buy one item for $2.33 and walk out paying $2.33. This one isn't different if you are in Oregon or any other state that doesn't require sales tax. In Arizona though, it is required. Everything here is duty free.

* There is only one stop light on the whole island. Growing up in Snowflake, Arizona we didn't have a stop light for years. We have one now, and 2 in Taylor so this isn't completely foreign to me. I think they could use a few more during rush hour though.

*Electricity is certainly different here. If you are friends with me on social media, you've seen me complain a time or two about the power outages we face. There is only one power company for the Dutch side of the island. We often have the power go off and on through out the day. Luckily, the extended stay hotel we live at has a generator so we are not one of many who face black outs for hours at a time. This can happen 3 or 4 times a week. Sometimes in one day it will happen 5 or 6 times.

*In the states you can go to Wal Mart or Target and get everything you need. Medicine, house hold items, clothes, shoes, cleaning supplies, sports equipment, car repair equipment, and the list goes on. Stores aren't like that here. They have food, and a few cleaning supplies, and house hold items. Otherwise you have to go to stores that are specifically for what you are looking for. It makes trip to the stores a little more difficult. Everything here is imported as well. What you find in one store, you may not find in another. To get everything on my shopping list, I usually got to two or three different stores.

*In Arizona we have central air, here the AC sits on our wall like a big huge fan. It is not loud though. Usually the area around the AC is cooler than the area not around the AC.

*Island time is a real thing here. Things run much slower than they would in the states. No one is in a hurry here.

*There are security guards every where here. We find them at stores, hotels, and housing complexes. There is not a store I have been into here, that does not have a security guard. Anywhere that has anything of value there is a security guard for.

We're Coming Home....

Can you imagine flying with 2 kids, 2 carseats, and 2 bags? Sounds like a nightmare right? Well it did to me too. So I asked my parents to help me get back to the Caribbean. Thank goodness too, because 2 bags (a carry on and a check on) turned into 4 bags (3 check on and 1 carry on). With all that luggage, kids, their luggage, and 2 car seats we still struggled a little bit. We started our journey back on May 28th at 12:45 am. We caught the red eye. Our flight consisted of 2 layovers. One in Charlotte N.C. for 3 or so hours, and another in Miami, Florida for 4.5 hours or so that turned into something like 6 because of a tire with low tread. They had to go find the tire and then change it out. We finally made it back to the Caribbean around 10:30 that night. It was an extremely long day of flying. 

Sunday we got up and took my parents to church. We liked being able to show them were we attended church. My mom was able to meet Vernice, a friend of my aunt Shawntels that lives on the island from when Shawntel and Vernice lived in Holland. Crazy how the world is so small that even people from complete other countries can know family and friends that you know. 

After church we took my parents to AUC so they could see where Aaron attends school. It was probably they're favorite place to visit because it is always so cold in that building. Its one of the only buildings on this island that I know of that actually has AC run through vents rather than through big bulky fans that are on the outside of the wall. 

Then we went to a beach I had never been to before, Long Beach. We just enjoyed the pristine water, and the sand. My dad loved it so much he decided to take a nap. 

Monday we went to go on an "Island Hopping" adventure. Aaron had school so he couldn't come. It was quiet the adventure trying to find these islands I am sure we drove all over the Dutch side of saint Martin tryin to find them. We made a wrong turn and ended up at the Westin Dawn Beach Club. There was a ton of Iguanas out there. They would come running up to the car and were not afraid of people whatsoever. My dad was getting out of the car to ask the security guard a question, and then jumped back in the car due to the Iguanas chasing him. They are all over this island. Anyway, we took a lot of pictures of iguanas and then took off again to the islands. The "island hopping adventure" is basically 3 different islands that you can walk to or wade too. When we got there though, it looked like it got pretty deep, plus there was sea urchins and we didn't have good shoes so we figured with kids and all we wouldn't walk to the islands. We decided to  walk around looking at the water and what was in it and we found a Sea Urchin in the water. My dad picked it up and an Islander saw us. He came down and grabbed another sea urchin out of the water, a sea star, a conk, and a sand dollar. Apparently he's gone out and found these things and uses them for a "show" when tourists come by and then asks for tips. He pulled each of these things out, and had their skeletons too. He told us information about each organism (I haven't been in biology for a while I think that is what you call them)

White Sea Urchin

The islander showed us the sea Urchins. Sea Urchins suck the food up inside and have big teeth that that use to eat their food. 

This poor little sea star lost a leg. There are star fish, and Sea Stars. This is a sea star. 

Holding the conk. They use that sharp point part to dig. Squid usually are the ones to eat Conk. They wrap their tentacles around the conk and suffocate it so the conk uses that pointy thing to break a hole to escape out and then the squid eats the conk. 

Wearing the Sea Star on my neck, with the sea urchins 

Addison holding a sea urchin. 

Mom holding the sea urchin. 

Sand Dollar (live)
After we looked at all the sea creatures we continued to walk around in the water and see if we could find more sea urchins or sea stars. We did find another sea star but it escaped into the water. There was plenty of sea urchins to find though. Because we had just held them we felt pretty confident picking them up and holding them. Well dad did anyway. So my dad decided to get brave and try and pick up a pretty big one and it got him pretty good. His finger was bleeding and you could see a little black in his finger. He decided he wasn't going to pick anymore up haha. My parents took a sea urchin skeleton home with some teeth to show my siblings that we found here.

After our little adventure we went to Cost U Less to get some food and show my parents where we did our regular shopping. Aaron had been living very humbly while I was gone. He mostly ate sandwiches, cheese crisps, and chicken sandwiches. We had a lot of fun on this little adventure. :) 

Tynans Birth Story

Tynan R Higgins was born May 2nd, 2016 at 2:22pm. 

Tynans birth was the complete opposite of Addisons. There was no NICU stays, no emergency transports, and we didn't stay in separate hospitals. It was as close to the perfect birth as it could have been considering I had cesarean. (you can read Addisons birth story here)

I think it got the most exciting when I decided to eat a pop tart on the way to the hospital that morning. As we were getting ready to leave and I grabbed my pop tart I thought to myself, "maybe I shouldn't eat. They didn't say anything though when we scheduled it. Maybe its okay. but maybe I shouldn't just in case. Okay, i'll just eat it. " So on our way to the hospital I ate maybe 1/4 of the pop tart. I really wasn't all that hungry. I was just eating to eat because that is what you do in the morning when you get up. Plus I figured I'd be sitting in a hospital all day and I really didn't want to be hungry. BAD IDEA. I got there and they asked me if I ate. I told them yes and immediately they were like well, we are probably going to have to wait 6 hours till you have an empty stomach. They were afraid I would throw up from all the medicine they gave me to get me ready for the c section and that I would gag on it.

So I did not even eat enough to fill my tummy. 2 rolled around and I was starving. I jokingly told Aaron and the nurses that I should have eaten a full meal from Ihop or something for it to be even worth it because the pop tart was not worth waiting till 2 for.

So 2 rolled around and they got me ready to go into the OR. When I had my c section with Addison they wheeled me in. With Tynan they had me walk in. That was a bad idea. I saw all the tools they'd be using, I suddenly wanted to turn around and wait till he came on his own. It was obviously too late though, and I really wanted Aaron to be there for the birth. That was the whole reason we were doing a c section anyway. I wanted Aaron to be there.

At 2:22 we heard his first cry. He came out crying just like we had hoped and imagined he would. He was pink and breathing on his own. He did swallow some amniotic fluid but it wasn't anything to be concerned about. They cleaned him up and Aaron got to cut the umbilical cord (he didn't get to cut Addisons). Aaron held him and then they brought him over to let me hold him for a few moments while I was still on the operating table and we took a quick picture. Aaron and Tynan left the room and they stitched me up. When I got to the recovery room I got to hold Tynan again, and do skin to skin. Tynan was struggling breathing just a little bit. He didn't know how to regulate it so they hoped that by doing skin to skin he would learn how to regulate it better. Within 5 mins his breathing was regulated. I could have stayed in that moment forever. He latched to eat immediately with no problems.

When we got wheeled back into our room Aaron went and got Addison from my mom and dad. We brought her in and introduced her to her new little brother. We had a lot of visitors that day and the next. Aaron had to leave early Wednesday morning to get back to school for class.

The experience of having Tynan and Addison was night and day. In a perfect world I would not have had Tynan via cesarean but it was more important to me that Aaron was able to to be there for the birth than me get the birth experience I wanted.

I am so grateful that I am able to have children and bring them into this world. I'm grateful for healthy beautiful babies and a wonderful husband that gets to be there daddy.

We are so blessed.

The nurse only got Aaron with his eyes closed. haha

Easter Weekend

I think this has been one of the best weekends on the island. We started out with Thursday night getting a date in. Thanks to Stephanie Wride for watching Addison so that we could do it. We dropped Addison off and then Aaron and I went to see Zootopia at the movie theatre here on the island. If you haven't seen Zootopia yet, go see it. It's amazing. It may be a cartoon, but we loved it. It had a great story line and really kept us engaged. Aaron has been saying he just wants to go buy it as soon as he can.

Saturday I took Addison to the Easter Activity at the school. They had egg coloring...

She got to build a graham cracker house, or at least we started a graham cracker house...

She got to even go on an Easter Egg Hunt...

After the Easter activity at the school we went home and got Aaron (he was studying). We packed up our things and we went to Le Gallion Beach, Aaron hadn't been with us the week before and we wanted to do something fun with Addison. So we decided there would be the perfect place.

Addison got to play in the water with her daddy and also play in the sand which is one of her favorite things to do when we go to the beach. I really think I'll be finding sand in her hair for years to come no matter how much scrub. On our way home we stopped at McDonalds, Addison loves their french fries.

Sunday we went to church and had a great fast and testimony meeting. After we came home Addison was playing out on the front porch with the sea shells we have collected since being here. We left the door open so we could hear Addison through the screen door. We went to go change and then I heard someone say my name, so I went out to see who was at the door and it was one of our neighbors. She had Addison in her arms. I wondered why she'd picked her up considering Addison was just out on the porch playing with her sea shells. Then she told me Addison was out in the parking lot (which is right by our apartment) running around. We are so lucky she picked her up and knew she was ours and that she didn't get hit by a car or anything. Shes a quick one, and she loves to be able to just run around and play and just wander. I'm constantly chasing her around. We are so lucky that our neighbor brought her back to us!

I can't get her to smile for pictures these days. She must be sick of my taking her picture, she still is so cute though with her little scowl haha.

Sunday right before Dinner we got our Easter Baskets. Our Easter baskets were super Ghetto this year, we used the 1 Gallon ice cream buckets from the Blue Bunny Ice cream. This looks like we probably eat a lot of ice cream.

Easter was pretty humble this year. My friend Stephanie went back to Utah for a couple weeks so I asked her to pick up a lift the flap bible book so that Addison could have it in her Easter basket. I am hoping it becomes a good source of entertainment during Sacrament Meeting. I would have done more for her but money is tight as a med student and I wasn't sure what else to do for her since I didn't have tons of options to choose from here on the island. So she got the book and some candy. Aaron and I just got candy, which I think is all we needed.

Today we went to Little Divi Bay and attended the annual Underwater Easter Egg Hunt that the nature foundation put on. You pay $10 dollars to participate and they drop a ton of hard boiled Easter Eggs down at the bottom of the ocean in a closed off area. Just Aaron participated and I watched Addison, and Kate for Stephanie and Austin. Aaron found 6 eggs, but lost all but 1 after he found out that he had a hole in his bag. He said at some points when he was diving he dove about 14 feet. He hasn't felt to good since. He isn't used to diving that low. After you get the eggs you take the to the ticket tent and they give you a raffle ticket. We ended up with 3 tickets because they give you one for registering, and one for each egg, which Aaron and Addison found another one later on so we snagged up 3 tickets. We did get two "Sun Bum" hats that we decided was worth our 10 dollars since we didn't end up winning anything with the raffle. Aaron said he knows what to do next year so that we have way more eggs and better chances at winning a raffle. The raffle prizes are pretty big. Some of the prizes were valued at about $250+. They were for different fun things you could do around the island that were valued at that price. It was a bummer we didn't win anything but we had fun none the less.

Aaron had both Friday and Monday off of school so he was able to study all day Friday and then play a little Saturday, and today. It was a great Easter weekend, and I'm grateful that we were able to spend it together before Addison and I leave to go back to the states on Thursday.

I am grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ. I am grateful that because of Him I can start again, I can have a clean slate, and a new beginning. Because of Him I can be with my family forever.